We Prioritize. We Organize. We Prep. We Allow. We Do It. Happy Dance for Small Victories.
I often get asked how I “do it” every day with the three boys, husband #1 and #2, two full-time jobs (one of which I own and run during the day, and the other I work 12.5 hours overnight doing), the house and self. My answer to this for years when I was a single mama and my world was on fire was, “Because I don’t have any other choice.” This of course was completely not true! We always have a choice. That is not to say I always made the right choice, but I still had a choice and made it. My answer has since changed and I now will reply to this question with, “Not gracefully! As long as everyone has pants on and some kind of shoes on, we are good!” When we look at our days as a whole and then our weeks, months and years, it can be completely overwhelming and for me I have the ‘crawl back in bed and let the covers devour me’ attitude. A fellow single mommy of twins gave me the best advice while I was going through my divorce and trying to take care of my then three-year old and twin one-year old sons while our world, as we knew it, was crumbling around us. She said, “forget taking time day by day, take time second by second.” This advice has continued to help me and bring down that anxiety level to this day.
By living in the present and going “live” in our daily routines, we are able to not only focus on the items at hand that we can control, but can also enjoy the moments while they are happening. Children grow up far to fast to not live this way. The people and the pets that we love will only be around for the time they are allotted and too many times we are so caught up in what did and will happen, that we subconsciously remove ourselves from the actual life we are presently living.
With the above thought-process in place, here is my self-made method for how we “do it…” We Prioritize. We Organize. We Prep. We Allow. We Do It. Happy Dance for Small Victories.
We Prioritize. The infamous ‘TO-DO’ list…my to-do list has to-do lists. While I love this method, I don’t always find that I ever go back to it once it is written. Use the list as a way to release it from your mind and let it go mentally so you can move on to other items. By other items, we are talking about the items that are time-sensitive and need to be completed by a certain time frame. For me on the daily, this looks different for the time of day I am evaluating. I have a morning and evening prioritizing party in my head. The items on these lists are very different. Some of these items are routine like getting the kids up, fed, meds, school, baths, homework and bed with all their various activities thrown in there. While, other items may be one-offs like blowing out the sprinklers or hosting an event. Items that are important, but not time-sensitive like dishes, laundry, showering (just kidding!) and making beds should not be on this list and are just bonus victories if you get to them that day. To be honest, I still struggle with leaving dishes in the sink at night and the piles of clean laundry overtake our hallway at times. However, I am learning that the world will not stop if these items go undone for a few days and my mental sanity is far more important and the chance to sleep an extra 30 minutes. Once you have your priorities straight, we can start to organize our space and time to allow us to prep properly.
We Organize. Organizing your space so that it fits the needs of your life is essential for success. In my home that space changes depending on the time of day and year. Clutter is an awful fiend and can cause high levels of stress and anxiety for those of us that truly pull our energy from our surroundings and space. The best example I have of this is my doorways and kitchen island. Too many times these areas are used as ‘dumping grounds’ for everyone in my household and the amount of stress it causes me makes me feel like I am going to hyperventilate. I have implemented and trained my village to come in and put (or at least attempt) every item in the designated places where the item lives when not being used. These places are a combination of shelves, closets, hooks and stacking in the open. There are so many ways to organize your everyday items in a way that will make them aesthetically pleasing but also functional and easy to access. Now that our space is picked up and clear, we can now start prepping for the next phase of life that will inevitably happen in a matter of hours.
We Prep. This is the key to success in my whole process. For me, this is the most important step of all and if my family skips this step, forget about the rest of it. Prepping for the next phase is basically giving yourself a present. How nice to come back to that space and have the footwork laid out and done so you can focus your limited time on the items that could not be prepped prior. I mainly reap the benefits of this in the mornings when I did the prep work the night before. By having the items laid out and set up for the kids, husband and house the night before, they can wake up and move into those clothes, bathroom and breakfast while I am adding the cold items to lunches and getting meds ready. While everyone is doing meds and finishing up breakfast, I am prepping toothbrushes, glasses and mouthwash. While everyone is in the bathroom, I am laying out coats and shoes in separate areas with each person’s items in a pile, far enough apart so no one fights, touches or looks at each other (haven’t figured out how to turn the voices off yet for whining, arguing and tattling…) While the troops are getting in their gear, I am already backing the car out and loading up. While the fam is getting in the car I run in and prep the house for the rest of the morning and turn on the crockpot or set out the meat for that night and lock up. Prep works happens all the time, but as much as you can do the night before will be ideal. This is said, as we all know things come up and stuff happens. Hence, why we allow for extra time.
We Allow. Time. We can’t buy it, trade it, wish it, sell it, find it or make it. What we can do though is allow for time. By this I am referring to giving yourself an extra half hour to allow for incidents and the unexpected. When I was kid-less, I only had to allow for 15 minutes. For each of us the standard time we allow will vary depending on the responsibilities and duties we must attend to. This phase also refers to us mentally and behaviorally allowing ourselves to be human at times and not set unobtainable goals and expectations for ourselves, our space or the people/things we choose to spend our lives with. Allow yourself the extra time to sit and enjoy your coffee when you get there a bit early, or hug and kiss your kiddos a little longer in the line before school starts. Take the extra time you allowed on the days that you executed and “did it” with time to spare.
We Do It. Whether you are in a time frame where you feel it is because you have to, or you are in a time frame where you have forgiven yourself and know it is by choice, you are doing it. Day in and day out, we are ALL doing it. This is of course all easier said than done, and my kids and husband will be the first to tell you that we have not perfected this method by any means. But, the amount of stress and anxiety that I have relieved by attempting to Prioritize, Organize, Prep, Allow, Do and Happy Dance is priceless for my mental well-being.
